It’s springtime and a beautiful, sunny morning. I was on a call with my good friend.
She asked me: “How was it? How do you feel now?” – referring to my public speaking experience I had an evening before in Alpharetta Library.
I answered: “Mmmm…Amazing!”
My friend: – “Ooookkk! I’m so happy for you. Tell me details.”
Me: – “Well, I was so nervous that I forgot half of the speech. The topic appeared too general, making it hard to keep the audience engaged. At some point, I felt like my mind went into some emotional stagnation, and I was repeating the same phrases. And all that despite the fact I was speaking about photography, my favorite topic, my devotion, that I’ve been doing for 15 years.”
My friend: – “But you did it; that’s the most important, the first step!”
Me: – “Yes, and I will continue with public speaking because, despite the fear and other emotional blocks, I felt good after.”
That afternoon I spoke about photography in my second language, English. I answered “Amazing” because of how I felt after, grateful for doing that first step. I realize and understand that the results of my emotional blocks affected my presentation, but I don’t call them mistakes. My body and mind responded to a new situation when I was completely outside my comfort zone and didn’t know how to react.
During my public presentation, a few people entered the room after I started my speech, and I felt confused because I didn’t know how to manage this situation. Should I stop and welcome them? Or should I continue with my speech – I didn’t know the right answer because I didn’t realize this might happen. That was a new situation for me. I will be prepared the next time it happens because of my previous experience.
What to do when public speaking fear blocks your biggest dream?
Public speaking fear is believed to affect 85% of the population. A big number for a relatively innocent activity – speaking. But it’s not that that scares; it’s the second word – public. Standing in front of people and speaking is scary. And according to the article in Harvard Business Review, “Public speaking anxiety is in our DNA.”
Public speaking has been one of my biggest dreams for a long time and my biggest fear. I went to public speaking courses after graduating from the University but never practiced it. I went to theatre classes in Cancun, but because of the Pandemic, they were closed. I joined one of the Toastmaster’s clubs, but online meetings didn’t resonate with me. Every attempt at public speaking resulted in insignificant results, but I kept dreaming.
Growing up in a culture where speaking out often has life-threatening consequences, I learned to be silent. I have been a photographer for fifteen years, talking through my images. That was my voice. I communicated through photos, a visual representation of reality. At some point, I began blogging; that was how I started enhancing my voice. Then I tried public speaking in Open Mic in Alpharetta Library. But the fear was still there. I read books about public speaking and watched videos, but that doesn’t matter now. Knowledge can’t help to fight public speaking fear because fear is irrational. It’s there although I didn’t invite it. I can’t run away from it; I can’t control or fight it. So, why not stop fighting, let it go, and learn to love it? Grab its hand, walk together, and step up on the stage.
I am real, and my fears are real, but I will do it anyway because isn’t that how dreams come true?! YOU JUST DO IT.
You just do it
I don’t like using the phrase “conquer your fear” because I am not a conqueror and am not fighting it. Instead, I accept its presence and kindly offer to join me while I am doing public speaking.
What did I learn in overcoming public speaking fear?
- Say no to perfection
- Power of the dress
- Surround yourself with love
Say no to perfection.
Don’t strive for perfection because it’s a subjective term that was probably invented to confuse beginners. I don’t believe in perfection but in excellence, which can be achieved through real-time practice. The first step is like a declaration, the beginning, putting forward the energy of wanting more. First, public speaking experience has to happen if you want to have more of them later. It takes time for a baby to stand up and feel confident walking, learn the alphabet, and ride a bike. In adulthood, learning to drive and overcoming the fear of driving alone takes time. Everything good takes time. The same should be applied to public speaking.
Power of the dress.
Use the Power of the dress to empower yourself; pay attention to your outfit. While dressing nice doesn’t guarantee success in public speaking or any other personal self-growth adventure, it certainly adds some extra points in confidence and a good mood. When you look good, you feel good. And when you feel good, your life becomes brighter, more colorful, and cheerful. And clothing is a simple, affordable way to add those “feel good” extra points.
Surround yourself with love.
That comes from people who support you: your family, friends, and colleagues. I realize that not all of us are lucky to have them as cheerleaders, but I hope you have at least a few people who feel that way. Having friendly support can’t be overemphasized!
My husband is my primary cheerleader, also my parents and friends. And I want to say special thank you to Isabel, an associate at the Alpharetta Library who helped me organize the public speaking event and provided emotional support and friendly hugs afterward. The Alpharetta Library has many excellent programs that are free for the public. It also has great facilities to host a public speaking event. If you are looking for interesting events in your town, visit a local library and check out their events list.
My husband is my primary cheerleader, also my parents and friends. And I want to say special thank you to Isabel, an associate at the Alpharetta Library who helped me organize the public speaking event and provided emotional support and friendly hugs afterward. The Alpharetta Library has many excellent programs that are free for the public. It also has great facilities to host a public speaking event. If you are looking for interesting events in your town, visit a local library and check out their events list.
My public speaking fear is still there, I don’t know when it will dissolve, and I don’t know how many public presentations I have to do to achieve a state of comfort. That’s in the future, and I don’t know it. One thing I know for sure is that I will not give up on my dreams because of fear. I allow it to be with me to maintain a balance. Life is about harmony and balance, not the leisure of a mysterious perfection.
You are having an enriching experience when you follow your dream despite the fear.
How could something that scares you turn into an enriching experience? Enrichment is to improve or enhance the quality of something, and I believe that personal growth happens outside the comfort zone. When you learn something new and acquire new capabilities, – you grow, and so does your perception of yourself.
I decided to think of public speaking fear as something interesting, the adjective that is used to describe something new, something that entertains curiosity. I am new to doing presentations, and I want to become better, and one of the ways is to be interested in how I can do that. So I am not criticizing myself for the first attempts; instead, I analyze them and look for ways to improve my presentations.
So, how about replacing public speaking fear with interest? Instead of complying with fear while staying in your comfort zone, be interested in extending your own capabilities outside the comfort zone. Maybe that’s a recipe for comfort in being on stage. Just be genuinely interested and reframe stage anxiety into wonder.
Did you have public speaking experience? How was it? I would love to hear about it; feel free to share it in the comments.
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